Many local newspapers had online personals in the mid 1990s but were bought out by these big dating sites. From some of the comments it really shows how desperate dating sites are for money that they even advertise in comment sections. You have a much better chance going to local events and you will probably spend less than what you would spend on an online dating site.
Other apps have indicated that they might actually move closer to Facebook. For example, Bumble, founded by a former Tinder executive, said they had already reached out to Facebook regarding how to collaborate. And, “One thing everyone seems to agree on is that Facebook’s effectively endorsing online dating will be a huge legitimization event for the industry,” says Jefferies Internet analyst Brent Thill. According to Amanda Bradford, chief executive of The League, an elite dating app, “Facebook is validating that dating is a high-tech industry with really interesting and hard problems to solve. Still, Facebook could face some obstacles in building enough separation between the dating service and the legacy social network; some users might not like having both activities live on one app.
After giving him some time to cope with his cat passing away, he made plans to see her again and she was thrilled. He canceled the date last minute again because he said his grandma had died. Although this seemed too tragic to be true, she gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was telling the truth. Additionally, if someone is giving you a checklist right away of all of the things they want in a future partner, this may be a red flag for some controlling behaviors. It’s one thing if they express their non-negotiables but it’s another thing entirely if they are listing required traits. If you feel like someone is already trying to change things about you to suit their needs, that’s not okay. How someone initiates a conversation with you will say a lot about how they view you as a person and how they might treat you as a partner.
Online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience with using dating sites or apps in positive, rather than negative, terms. Some 57% of Americans who have ever used a dating site or app say their own personal experiences with these platforms have been very or somewhat positive. Still, about four-in-ten online daters (42%) describe their personal experience with dating sites or apps as at least somewhat negative. Happily, there are some dating services that are looking to overcome the vanity. For example, Hinge matches people based on personality and preferences and lets you create a more interesting and rounded profile to draw people in. One of the few dating sites designed for affairs, Ashley Madison connects users for discreet encounters.
Basically all a guy like you has to do is instantly grab her attention in a memorable way with both your profile and your messages, then spend the least amount of time possible convincing her to meet you in person. For those who are hesitant to enter the online dating world for reasons related to safety or awkward conversation lulls, Double aims to take the pressure off with Double dates as opposed to one-on-one.
State things that are really important to you and be done with it. Connor turned an attempt at small talk into a rant about “gold-digging whores,” and the dating app was not having it. Matt- But what about when you said you would meet me in real life and we would lose our virginity together. One Love educates young people about healthy and unhealthy relationships, empowering them to identify and avoid abuse and learn how to love better. If you are going somewhere that serves alcoholic beverages, most bartenders are using secret codes to help customers signal, privately, when they need help if they’re getting harassed or feeling unsafe on a bad date.
With no financial requirement, free sites will naturally attract a greater proportion of people who are not really committed to finding a genuine relationship. Memberships you gain additional features such as being able to send more messages and receiving event discounts.
Ah, winter. A perceivable wonderland of snowy dreamscapes, adventurous fun like skiing and ice skating over a frozen community pond, cozy nights indoors with the likes of hot chocolate sprinkled with slowly melting mini-mallows, SUPER cute clothes to bundle up in and happiness for days as we inch closer and closer to the holidays. If you are from a place like Montana and are familiar with what experiencing winter is really like, you may have another picture in mind. The neighbors all out alongside you scraping ice off of cars and warming them up to avoid wear and tear in the blistering, icy frigidness of the morning temps, the strangers you will stop to help who have gotten stuck in the most inconvenient places throughout town, the dreamy white blanket of snow turning into a freckled and dirty looking slush from traffic and plows, ah yes – the plows, grey skies and the collective grumpiness that comes from such little sunshine. Don’t get me wrong – there is much to be adored about our winters here in MT (especially if you are the outdoorsy type), but it’s not without it’s downers. We’ve gathered a few tips and tricks to keep those best-life vibes going strong through the bitterness of our lovely lack of sunshine.
Plug It In
We all know the significance of sunlight concerning a healthy lifestyle. Vitamin D is essential to keeping bones, joints, and teeth healthy, as well as the benefits concerning both mental and emotional health. Lack of vitamin of D can not only kickstart a terrible domino effect of negative effects on the body, but it can also be the catalyst for mental/emotional irregularity. Consistent and uninterrupted sunlight is not something we, here in Montana, get to indulge in the same as other parts of the world. So, what can we do to make up for it? How about we try plugging in a little happy and letting good old technology do its thing? Happy Lamps are a surefire way into the benefits of sunlight without any of the harmful UV rays. By stimulating a network of sensors in the body, these lamps can help to increase the body’s natural production of the happy hormone – serotonin. In turn, this effect on the hormones also triggers a balance in melatonin, which helps to regulate sleep. So not only can the Happy Lamp support a positive active lifestyle, it can also promote a healthy circadian rhythm. Happy Lamps also come with a price tag varying anywhere from around $50.00 all the way up to around $3000.00 – depending on personal preferences.
Supplementing
The benefits of Vitamin D are hard to ignore. Along with what we listed above, this is also an important piece of the puzzle concerning the immune system. Although there are several dietary sources of Vitamin D, modern farming practices, transport times, and storage all further the depletion of nutrients in our grocery store foods. Fact of the matter is: our food does not provide the same nutrition today that it did 50 years ago. While there is no out-supplementing a poor diet, if you are not supplementing the chances of being deficient in something is extremely high! When reaching for supplementation, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Is it a naturally sourced / clean supplement as opposed to a synthetic?
What is the nutritional value of the vitamin in each serving of your supplement?
Are there any additives (not clean!) or other ingredients that could trigger adverse effects? (Allergies, intolerances, etc.)
Self-Care
It is no secret that we live in a day and age where self-care is a primary focus in many people’s routine. With a plethora of resources available through the vast number of connections we have at hand (libraries, online platform like YouTube/Audible/Spotify/etc.), discovering the best suited form of self-care can be quite the adventure! Not every resource is going to a perfect fit for every person in the same way. Designating time each day (whether it be 5 minutes or hours) to focus in refueling and refocusing can be a game-changer! With the fast-paced, instant gratification world we live in, it can be incredibly easy to overlook how empty our cups are until it is too late. For each of us to be able to give our best to those we love the most, we must, first, be at our very best! (They deserve the best of us, not what’s left of us.) Whether it be a peaceful meditation, a creative project that allows a free expression of what you are feeling, physical activity & exercise, etc. – go ahead and dip your toes in to find out what’s comfy!
Activities
One of the most beautiful, gratitude-inducing factors of being a Montanan, is the freedom the thoroughly enjoy the open outdoors. Yes, even in winter! From the simple joys of building front yard snowman with their charcoal eyes keeping close watch on the neighborhood fun, to the extreme indulgence of adventure with the likes of the 15 different skiing/snowboarding areas we have access to – there is no shortage of fun to be had! (Have you heard about Skijoring?!) If braving the bitter cold for a day’s worth of smiles is not your perfect idea of paradise, no stress! In fact, you can experience quite the opposite when you visit one of our 15 different hot spring locations throughout the state. Ice fishing, ice climbing (we dare you), fat biking, snowmobiling – the list goes on and on! Also, for when physical exertion is at the bottom of your to-do list, you can book your very own sleigh ride in 7 different locations or even a private stagecoach tour through the winter-wonderland that Yellowstone National Park becomes this time of year. Bed & breakfasts, resorts, ranches, breweries/distilleries, and the food – oh goodness, the food. National Geographic even says, “Good food reveals a lot about any destination and nowhere is that more true than good ol’ Montana.” Whatever your favorite flavor of fun may be, winters in Montana have plenty to offer!
Preparation
The downside to winter in these parts can certainly be amplified by a lack of attention to preparation. The last thing anybody wants to deal with this time of year (especially as holidays approach) is the added stress, expense, or time necessary for home and vehicle repair! Don’t be your own worst enemy and get those maintenance checklists out of the way asap. How’s your vehicle running? Are your tires prepared for the slick, slippery road conditions? Have you checked your home’s heating systems to ensure they are working properly? Do they need cleaning or changing of necessary filters? Seasonal maintenance checks are a must for keeping the headaches at bay! How about sealing those drafty windows and doors? Do you have a generator that has been checked recently to ensure it is in working order? Some extra little tips we recommend are simple, but lifesavers:
Keeping a warm blanket, hand warmers, and long/thick clothing in your vehicle for emergencies, along with an emergency road kit.
Allowing yourself enough time to warm up vehicles, scraping any snow or ice completely off (don’t want to be at fault for another driver’s broken windshield). We all know winter weather brings longer travel times and planning ahead can make all the difference in your day!
Whatever your idea of a good time may be, do not let anybody have you believing that it has to stop when winter arrives – at least not in Montana. If we missed your favorite winter to-do here, be sure to let us know what it is! Visit us on Facebook @AlpinePlumbing or leave us a message on our www.alpinebillings.com. Tune in next week to learn a little more about the madness behind the scenes at our Alpine home base office!
It is no secret that this time of year brings with it many reasons to smile in good cheer; From the holidays that come to quick and are gone too soon to the quality time with friends/family, from the luxurious blanket of glittering white snowfall to the coziness of bundling up inside and away from the bitter, frosty air, etc. – there is much warmth & splendor to be had, with gratitude in full force. The bright side of this season is, unfortunately and undeniably, not the same experience for all.
A report from the U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development found that 580,466 people experienced homelessness in the United States on a single night in 2020, an increase of 12,751 people, or 2.2 percent, from 2019. Overall, 66.7% of the total homeless population of the United States is single individuals, with the remaining 33.3% being families. According to the USDA, more than 38 million people, including 12 million children, in the United States are food insecure with the global pandemic having worsened matters for many.
While most families are stressing over what to cook for Christmas dinner and the ever-increasing costs of their children’s wish lists, it is hard to ignore the growing number of families who’s stresses amount to their next meal or shelter from the winter cold. With the hard truth of how much help is needed far and wide, there are many ways we can join forces to share a little love, a little light and help to ignite a whole lot of hope for those who may otherwise be running out.
We’ve gathered a few ideas to share with you today that will hopefully inspire a few more people who may have the extra time and resources to amplify their spirit of giving, and who want to be the example of selflessness this holiday season. ❆
TOY DRIVES
Programs like Toys for Tots and GoUnite Gives exist with a simple mission at heart of all their action: provide tangible hope and happiness to disadvantaged families. Since 1947, Toys for Tots has proudly helped deliver smiles to over 270 million children with over 604 million toys. With help from local communities, contributions to these programs can be made through many different avenues. From peer-to-peer crowd funding to virtual/digital donations, direct contribution of goods or financial sponsorship – these programs make giving back an incredibly easy task.
CANNED FOOD COLLECTION
By visiting FeedingAmerica.com, you can locate your nearest community food bank and contact information. The Feeding America nationwide network of food banks secures and distributes 4.3 billion meals each year through food pantries and meal programs throughout the United States and leads the nation to engage in the fight against hunger. Drives are held year-round and are an important source of non-perishable food for the network of food programs that often collect through schools, offices, community groups and places of worship.
“ADOPT” A FAMILY/CHILD
You can sign up for Adopt-a-Family as either a recipient or a donor. Most Adopt-a Family programs are run by charities or faith-based organizations, often at the local level. You can find an Adopt-a-Family program by contacting local organizations, signing up with a volunteering website, or doing a web search. A quick glance around your local grocery store may bring your attention to one of the many Angel Trees that are a part of the Salvation Army’s mission to give back. The Angel Tree program helps provide Christmas gifts for hundreds of thousands of children around the country each year. How it works: Once a child or senior adult has been registered and accepted as an Angel, their Christmas wish list is shared with donors in your community who purchase gifts of new clothing and/or toys.
Every volunteer experience is different, but one resounding commonality is that there is no shortage of help needed! 51% of food programs in America rely entirely on volunteers for operation. FreeFood.org has an actively updated list of community resources for families facing food insecurity, and hosts contact information with addresses for local programs / hosts for free food pantries. Montana Rescue Mission provides emergency, temporary, and rehabilitative care for those experiencing hunger and homelessness, and are always open to accepting volunteers! Billings Food Bank, Family Services and Community Hope of Laurel, and Kirk’s Grocery are just a few of our pantry locations here in Billings, MT. If you or someone you know would like to volunteer or need assistance, contact info can be found on any local listing website or these pantry host websites directly.
DELIVERING CARDS TO NURSING HOMES
Despite our best efforts, the process of aging is something we all must endure. While nursing homes are a wonderful means of assistance and fine-tuned personal care, it is no secret that these housing facilities can often be lonely & quiet – ESPECIALLY during the holidays. Imagine the happiness and love that one must experience at the kindest of stranger taking time to wish them a warm, joyful holiday! Whether it be a classroom activity for our school age youth, a family project, or a random act of kindness from your individual self – this kind of selflessness is the kind that ripples good fortune well beyond our given sights.
SHOVELING WALKWAYS FOR NEIGHBORS
Yes, snowfall can be a beautiful sight. However, it is the painstaking removal of said beauty that can bring its own set of struggles. Shoveling, ice removal, scraping windshields, etc. – everyone’s favorite winter past time, right? WRONG. As much as we anticipate this time of year, there is no denying the extra work that goes into simple day to day function in winter. Shoveling snow, as innocent as it may seem, does harbor its own unique physical dangers. Unlike conventional exercise, shoveling is usually done without a warm-up and can cause sudden increase in blood pressure / heart rate. Additionally, cold air may cause constriction of blood vessels, including coronary arteries, and decrease oxygen supply to the heart. Muscle, ligament, tendon, and other soft tissue injuries topped the list of snow shoveling mishaps. Among these, lower back injuries were common. If you find yourself out braving the frigid air to make your foot traffic more reliable & secure, and if time allows, perhaps the kindness of beating your elderly neighbors to the punch might just spare them an unforeseen trip the ER.
PAY IT FORWARD
For most of us, when we hear the words, “Pay it forward,” we think of the heart wrenching film released in 2000, written by Catherine Ryan Hyde and starring the adorable Haley Joel Osment. Digging a little deeper, this concept can be traced back to a play performed in ancient Athens as early as 317 BC. Catherine describes this concept as an obligation to do three good deeds for others in response to a good deed that one receives. Such good deeds should accomplish things that the other person cannot accomplish on their own. This way, the practice of helping one another can spread geometrically through society, at a ratio of three to one, creating a social movement with an impact of making the world a better place. Whether it be a small favor or kindness that someone has shown you, or perhaps the classic drive through method, we strongly encourage all to pass on the good fortune that you are blessed with to someone else who may need it!
SMALL “THANK YOU” GIFTS FOR MAIL CARRIERS
It is no secret that this time of year is a whirlwind of chaos for all delivery drivers and mail carriers. In 2020 alone, the United States Postal Service delivered over 7.3 billion parcels. Amazon orders accounted for 1.5 billion Holiday packages in 2020. With so much groundwork to cover, the strenuous overhaul these workers must endure on a day-to-day basis is often overlooked. Taking a moment to consider the long hours and high stakes stress that these workers are under when doing everything they can to help spread holiday cheer as quickly as possible, a small act of kindness and recognition may be just what they need to keep up with rising demand. Small treats like snacks, water bottles or even a simple hand-written thank you note are just a few ways you can let your delivery workers know you are thinking of them and want them to see the same amount happiness as their customers this holiday season.
DONATE
With issues like rising food insecurity, homelessness, inflation, and natural disasters reaching record numbers history has never seen, there are several calls for help waiting to be answered worldwide. It can be somewhat pressuring when trying to decide where to lend a hand first! We suggest choosing a charity mission whose values align with yours, who are dependable and transparent about how your donation is being utilized to offer support, and a mission that has a lasting positive impact in the world. If you are looking to provide local support for those in need within your own city, the website https://greatnonprofits.org is a phenomenal resource for finding organizations and events for your local community. If you are looking to help on a global scale, a quick Google search can lead you to resources and efforts that making a positive impact far and wide, such as Caring Hands. Caring Hands (based out of Idaho) is non-profit whose mission focuses on providing direct access to clean nutrition, clean water, and educational resources to children and families in need. For more information on how you can help to feed 5 hungry bellies for less than a trip to the movies, visit https://cainflores.kyani.com/us/kyani-potato-pak/.
SHARING IS CARING
Lastly, we want to acknowledge that we know this time of year is often a tight budget crunch for most. Thankfully, we live in a day and age where information can travel at the speed of light through social media platforms and modern technology. One of the easiest ways to spread good fortune to others is to take a moment to spread the word. Word of mouth sharing is the most effective and surefire way to help ignite awareness and begin the ripple of good news traveling fast. If you happen to see a cause that you would like to participate in but are unable to contribute to financially or with time, sharing that information on social media, sharing with your friends/family, or sharing with someone else who has a similar soft spot for lending a hand can make a massive difference in how far the ripple of good fortune can venture. Please be mindful to educate your circle of friends/family on what worldly issues are important to you and how you are taking steps to love a little louder with your efforts to help.
❆
As we are approaching the end of another year gone far too quickly, we here at Alpine want to wish you the absolute best of good fortune and blessings to come throughout this holiday season! We would love to hear about how you are making a difference with your efforts and how we can help spread the word to others who may want to participate. Please feel free to send your story/details to info@alpinebillings.com. May all your wishes come true and may all your hearts be filled with good cheer this holiday season!
Living in the age of DIY is equally delightful and dangerous. Hear me out. While the convenience of being able to jump on a quick Google search seems a treat, we know now that consistent reliability isn’t always in the top results. From the likes of YouTube to the HGTV programs and all media in between that help to inspire a grander belief in our natural skill level and abilities, it stands to reason that not everyone out there is an expert, not every source is one of integrity/honesty, and some things are better left to the professionals. Not only do we want to encourage your sense of self and always support further education/growth wherever possible, but we also recognize that it can be hard to know who to trust when taking on new projects, including yourself. Today we’ll be visiting some harrowing tales and photos of people who gave themselves a little too much credit. Before we dive into a few cautionary tales of when DIY turns disastrous, here are a few rules of thumb to check in with when deciding whether a job will require extra, outsourced hands:
Are you able to limit/control liabilities?
Can you handle the task physically? For real, though?
Have you researched DIY advice for this task? Are there more stories of regret than success?
Does the job need to look professional?
Should something go wrong, are you equipped to fix the mistake or repair damage?
Are you sure you got this?
Without further ado, let’s dig in and thank our lucky stars we are not these people!
“I needed to replace a light switch in the kitchen in my apartment. When I removed the old switch I failed to notice that it was a combination outlet and switch which had four wires instead of the two I was used to. I didn’t make note of where the wires were connected. I made several attempts to connect the new switch but each time I threw the switch the light did not go on. I decided to see if at least the outlet worked so I plugged the toaster into it. When I pushed down the toaster levers, to my surprise, the light went on. I tried to convince my wife that we just needed to make toast when we needed the light on but she didn’t buy it.”
“After numerous days, nights of begging my fiancé to hang my curtains, and shears. I finally attempted it on my own. Not only did it take me about 6 hours to hand curtains on two windows. When it was all said and done, it was kinda crooked so I made the curtains cover the crookedness. I was happy with my job well done. My fiancé gets home from work in the evening and when he arrived I brought him to the living and showed him my hard work. He opened one of the curtains and at the same time was saying good job baby. Not a second later the rod and the curtain both fell and hit him on the head.. I felt so bad, he got a huge bump on his forehead from the end of the big rod..:( ”
“A part from my young son’s plastic potty had somehow gotten stuck in the toilet trap. I couldn’t snake it out, nor could the plumber, who left saying, ‘Buy a new toilet.’ But I had a brilliant idea: I’d burn it out! I pulled the toilet and dragged it outside. There I poured charcoal lighter fluid down the trap and lit it up. Standing back, I basked in the glory of the geyser flames and my phenomenal ingenuity… until the bang. The commode literally cracked from the heat. I bought a new toilet.”
“I was replacing our shower fixture, and I couldn’t budge the large brass nut that was holding the two-way mixing valve in place. Using my expert knowledge of physics, I came up with the perfect solution. I packed the valve in ice to make it shrink in diameter. Then I used my blowtorch on the nut so its diameter would expand, thus freeing it. I was feeling really clever until I noticed the smoke filling the shower. It turns out two studs were on fire and the flames were moving up inside the wall! Have you ever tried to extinguish a blazing fire through a 6-in. access hole? I didn’t worry about the physics at that point—I just ran for the fire extinguisher!”
“After framing in a new closet with metal studs, I was ready to take a break. I had been working around an old electrical panel in our old house. As I sat down on the radiator, I grabbed hold of one of the studs to support myself and was greeted with a powerful shock. Upon investigating, I found that one of my screws had penetrated a wire inside an existing wall and had energized the new metal wall framing. What a wild ride 120 volts gives you! How lucky I wasn’t hurt.”
“Wifey (bless her!) wanted a nice new bathroom suite – me on a cost saving mission decided some nice shiny new mixer taps would brighten up our existing bath and basin and save me hard earned beer money. Saturday dawned and her off shopping I started the job as a surprise for her return… I hadn’t bargained for the 20+ year old retaining nuts on the taps (in a very inaccessible place – as they usually are) being welded on. After scraping most of the skin from my knuckles I jumped in the car and made a 10-mile round trip to the market to buy an adjustable wrench, got it in place – swung on the b*stard with all my might and… split the frigging bath straight down the middle. Wife returned to just two pipes (still with taps attached) stuck out of the bathroom floor and the bath in the garden. I also then had to get a plumber in to sort out my heating as when I drained the water tank, I caused a blockage in the system.”
To say researching this post wasn’t the most gut-wrenchingly funny part of my entire week would be selling it short! More times than not, we as humans often either don’t give ourselves enough credit or give ourselves far too much. Bottom line – in today’s fast pace / instant gratification world, DIY can turn DUMB faster than you can say, “never mind.” To guarantee that you don’t end up on our next list of lucky ducks, be sure to call on the professionals in your area – the REAL experts (not your coworker’s friend who watched a tutorial) – and set yourself up for a success story instead!
Ah, Halloween. The one day every year when it is perfectly acceptable, even encouraged, to pretend to be somebody you are not. One day to count on where we get to escape reality and become whatever we see fit in the moment. Some people plan all year long for their Halloween get -up! Though the last few years of pandemic chaos have brought their own obstacles concerning holiday norms, trick or treating is set to carry on in full force this year. A favorite past time with many treasured childhood memories for many adults, trick or treating is more than just a clever name. With treats being what all kiddos look forward to most, the probability of a few tricks stands reasonably high. Personally, I dreaded the school supply houses who were proudly handing out the likes of pencils or bookmarks. What kind of 8-year-old is excited by Office Depot stock? Not many. So, for those of you participating in festivities this year and expecting a long line of visitors, we’ve helped compile a list of the most unpopular items to hand out on Halloween. Saving you all the risk of egging’s, houses being toilet-papered, or yards being spooned – we got you covered! Keeping in mind that Halloween is expectedly a candy holiday (Candy, as in sugar, sugar as in processed sugar, not that natural/of-the-earth sweetness.), let’s dig in!!
Raisins/Apples/Fruit
Do we really need to elaborate here? We’ve already covered that if it is natural, it doesn’t count as a treat on this day. However, there is extra insult when considering that raisins are not only grapes, but they are dried, old, and chewy in the worst way. Baked into a golden, soft centered oatmeal cookie on any other day of the year? Great! Inside an obnoxious box that is taking up prime candy quarters within a Halloween bucket/bag? Hard pass and anyone under the age of 60 will likely agree. Apples are another story entirely. Who doesn’t love a crisp, fresh apple? However, especially on this calendar day, it is hard not to equate this sweet deliciousness with evil witches who wanted to poison the smallest people in the village. These, too, occupy real estate that was already in escrow for some serious chocolate action. Unless the goal is to see how many trashcans your grocery list can end up in, we strongly suggest that all homeowners keep all forms of produce where they will be appreciated best this Halloween – at home… with you… the one who bought it without the expectation that it was going to be a bite size Butterfinger. Bottom line: do better.
Toothbrushes
While researching popular opinions concerning treats this time of year, toothbrushes were the poorest rated item on almost EVERY list. It’s no secret that we all want our young ones to grow up as healthy as possible, but Halloween comes with its own special exceptions. This is a night with hungry eyes and bellies fixated on one thing and one thing only: CANDY. All notions of addressing dental health concerns will be back in play first thing November 1st. According to a survey done by Mashed, “a whopping 47.17% of respondents said that there’s absolutely nothing worse than receiving a toothbrush on Halloween.”
Loose Coin Change
While free spending money is nice and under normal circumstances any child would be more than happy to collect said free spending money, chances are that the loose coins being tossed into buckets like some weird type of wishing well are not just filthy and covered in prime germ activity – they are being tossed around to marinate the other treats in that same nastiness. We know children are not always the cleanest and they do need to build those immune systems up strong, but there are more effective ways than trying to trick a youngster into fiscal responsibility.
Coupons
Every self-respecting adult knows the value of a good bargain. Every self-respecting child couldn’t care less. Now, if we are talking Bogos for online gaming or even bigger/better candy to purchase later on, there are exceptions. If, however, your mission is to help an elementary schooler pocket 15 cents when they purchase their next bundle of 3 full size packs of Downy dryer sheets, it doesn’t make you a bad host – just a cheap and disconnected one. Not only are we in the age of digital savings with apps like Groupon, making paper cut out coupons next to irrelevant, I’ve never met a child who is legitimately concerned with inflation. Don’t be that house.
Baked Goods / Homemade Candy
I’m sure your country fair blue ribbon rhubarb pies and generations old cookie recipes are delectable. I’m also sure that we are still mid-pandemy and not all your neighbors are aware of your cleanliness and hygiene habits when it comes to kitchen prep. Chances are that all the love and good-will that you will have put into your fresh-baked delights will likely be filling the neighborhood trashcans before they fill any bellies.
Crayons
Another fantastic staple of childhood, who doesn’t love to color? Crayons and markers are great tools for inspiring and celebrating creativity for all ages! Can you eat them? Not advised. Plus, like raisins, these often take up fair space inside a small bucket/bag. If you are hoping to hand out something other sugar this year, there are plenty of options that are tailored to this specific holiday. Temporary tattoos, stickers, bouncy balls, glow sticks, WRAPPED plastic fangs, etc. – so many choices that take up such little space amongst the sweets.
Lozenges
Would you feel comfortable doling out shots of Dayquil for your trick or treaters? No? Then we would like to kindly remind you that most lozenges are medicated with dextromethorphan. If your goal is to rally as many drowsy, dizzy, nauseated and/or vomiting children as possible, please don’t. Mixing a stomach full to the brim of sugar with an unsuspected dose of cold medicine (wrapped in more sugar) is not likely to induce any kind of joy or comfort. Chances are also that any child who receives lozenges is probably going to consume them before they question their nutritional content.
Black Licorice
In the early 1900’s, black licorice was a rarity amongst candy companies making them an extremely popular confection. While this flavor has been notably utilized since as early as Babylonians (with evidence of popularity among Ancient Egyptians, Greeks and even used in the Brahmans of India), this flavor has lost its luster with the youngsters. Whether it be the last remaining jellybeans from a variety pack, the twists, straws, etc. – odds of finding a child elated to taste black licorice are minimal. Not to mention, this treat is much more of trick when looking into potential hazards. Too much consumption of black licorice can lead to hypertension crisis, muscle breakdown, or even death. That’s right – death. Talk about a spook!
Religious Books /Pamphlets
There is a time and place – this is not it. Halloween this year does fall on a Sunday. However, this is the ONE night a year where the realities of adulthood are intentionally discarded for the sake of juvenile delight. Much like the baked homemade goods, these are surely going to end up as trash fillers before they ever fulfil their purpose as reading material. If pamphlets are your treat, go ahead and keep that porch light off. There’s always next year to get it right.
Circus Peanuts
Last but certainly not least, we have the one and only original Circus Peanut. This simultaneous squishy and sinewy surprise is supposed to be a little burst of banana for the tastebuds. What the flavor profile actually is – we may never know. Fresh from a brand-new pack, these bad boys taste about 10 years too stale to be any kind of fresh. At an average cost of bout $7 per pound, there are a plethora of more cost-efficient candy choices to pick from when building that big old bowl of handouts. Circus Peanuts may very well be the only candy that offers its very own question of being a trick or a treat.
We hope that no matter what your plans are to celebrate this year, that the day is full of joy and memories to last a lifetime! We also hope that our little list here may have helped to spare a few houses from the dreaded reputation of being the worst trick or treat stop on the block. Happy Halloween everyone! Stay safe out there and let us know if we need to add anything to this list for next year!
